10 Tips to Support a Friend Struggling with Mental Health Issues
Day 25 of 30
As a dedicated mental health advocate and counsellor, I’ve come to value just how powerful open, honest conversations about mental health can be. This November, I’m embarking on a 30-day writing journey, sharing a new mental health article each day, not only to raise awareness but to raise funds for Movember.
Supporting a friend through mental health struggles is a bit like standing with them in a dark forest. You might not have a map or know the exact way out, but your support can be the light that reassures them they’re not alone. It’s not about you having all the answers or the perfect route forward; it’s about walking beside them step by step, until the path becomes clearer.
You might even find yourself worrying about saying the wrong thing or feeling unsure about how to help. But sometimes, it’s not about having the perfect words; it’s primarily about showing up, listening, and reminding your friend they’re not alone.
Here are 10 suggestions to be there for a friend who may be struggling with their mental health.
1. Notice When Something Feels Off
You know your friend, so trust your instincts. Maybe your friend has been quieter than usual, avoiding social plans, or they seem overwhelmed or down. Mental health struggles often show up in subtle ways:
They might seem exhausted or have trouble sleeping.
Maybe they’ve stopped doing things they love.
Or they’ve been irritable, tearful, or just not themselves.
Start by gently letting them know you’ve noticed. You could say something like, “Hey, I’ve been a bit worried about you lately. Want to talk about it?” Even if they’re not ready to open up, they’ll know you care, and that’s a huge step.
2. Listen Without Judging or Fixing
When your friend does open up, it can be tempting to jump in with advice or try to “fix” things for them. But often, the best thing you can do is just listen.
Let them talk, and focus on being present.
Acknowledge their feelings: Say things like, “That sounds so hard. I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way.”
Ask gentle questions: “What’s been on your mind?” or “How can I support you right now?”
Be okay with silence: Sometimes, just sitting quietly with them speaks volumes.
You don’t have to have all the answers. Just letting them know you’re there can mean the world.
3. Choose Your Words with Care
Sometimes, finding the right words can feel tricky, and that’s okay. Certain phrases, while well-intentioned, might not offer the comfort your friend needs. For example, saying things like:
“Just think positive!”
“You’ll get through this.”
“Other people have it worse.”
These expressions may unintentionally minimise their feelings. Instead, focusing on empathy and reassurance can make a bigger difference. You could try:
“I can see this is really tough for you. I’m here to help however I can.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling right now.”
Remember, your words don’t have to be perfect. What truly matters is speaking from the heart and showing you care.
4. Be There in Small but Meaningful Ways
Supporting a friend doesn’t always have to be a big, dramatic gesture. Often, it’s the little things that make a big impact:
Sending a message to check in: “Thinking of you today. Let me know if you feel like catching up.”
Inviting them for a walk or coffee, even if they don’t feel like talking.
Offering practical help, like cooking a meal or helping with errands.
Sometimes, just showing up is enough to remind your friend they’re not alone.
5. Respect Their Boundaries
Your friend might not want to talk, or they might need some time to process what they’re going through. That’s okay. Let them know you’re there when they’re ready, but don’t push them to open up before they’re comfortable.
A simple message like, “No pressure to chat, but I’m here if you need me,” can be a helpful way to keep the door open without overwhelming them.
6. Don’t Forget to Look After Yourself
It’s easy to pour all your energy into supporting your friend, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Helping someone else is challenging if you’re feeling burnt out.
Make time for your own self-care, whether that’s exercise, rest, or talking to someone you trust.
Set boundaries when you need to. It’s okay to say, “I really want to support you, but I also need some time to recharge.”
If you’re finding it tough to manage your own emotions, consider speaking to a counsellor yourself. At Bent Couch Counselling, we’re here for friends and family members too.
7. Celebrate Their Wins, Big or Small
Progress in mental health can take time, and even the smallest steps forward are meaningful. Whether it’s managing to get through a challenging day, reaching out for support, or finding a moment of joy, those achievements deserve recognition.
Let your friend know you see their efforts by saying something like, “I’m really proud of you” or “You’re doing so well, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.” Acknowledging their progress can help them feel seen and appreciated during a difficult time.
8. Encourage Professional Help Gently
While your support is invaluable, some challenges are too big to tackle alone. If you think your friend might benefit from talking to a counsellor, bring it up in a kind and non-pushy way.
You might say:
“I’ve been thinking about how much you’ve been dealing with lately. Have you thought about talking to someone who could really help?”
“I’ve heard about Bent Couch Counselling. They’re excellent at helping people navigate these kinds of feelings. Would you like me to help you get in touch with them?”
9. Know When to Call for Emergency Help
Sometimes, the situation might feel bigger than you can handle. If your friend talks about wanting to hurt themselves or seems in danger, take it seriously. Call emergency services or a crisis hotline immediately.
In Australia, you can contact Lifeline at 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue at 1300 22 4636. Let your friend know, “You don’t have to face this alone. Let’s get some help together.”
10. It’s Okay to Not Have All the Answers
Supporting a friend through mental health struggles isn’t about fixing their problems or having all the right words. It’s about being there, offering kindness, and helping them take that first step toward getting the support they need.
These articles tackle vital topics related to mental well-being, many of them drawn directly from my own experiences and insights gained through my work in Bent Couch Counselling.
Movember’s mission is to support men’s mental health, address prostate and testicular cancer, and prevent suicide, which is a cause close to my heart. My personal connection to Gay Fathers Worldwide has encouraged me to raise $10,000 as part of Movember. I encourage you to donate here to an incredible cause.
By sharing personal perspectives and strategies over these 30 days, I hope to foster deeper understanding and connection around mental health issues. This project is about more than just reading or writing; it's about taking action.
I hope sharing my experience can be a guide, perhaps even a comfort, for others on a similar path.