Bent Couch | LGBTQIA+ Counselling by Shaun Williams

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10 Life-Changing Habits that help me manage my Depression

Day 1 of 30

As a dedicated mental health advocate and counsellor, I’ve come to value just how powerful open, honest conversations about mental health can be. This November, I’m embarking on a 30-day writing journey, sharing a new mental health article each day, not only to raise awareness but to raise funds for Movember. Welcome to Day 1!

Managing depression is a long and winding journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. These habits don't "fix" everything, but each one helps me find a bit of relief, a bit more hope, and a bit of strength to keep going. Developing these habits took time, and there are days I don’t manage to do them all, but that’s okay. The journey is about progress, not perfection.

I share these habits in the hope that they might offer a sense of support to others facing similar struggles. Depression can be isolating, but building a foundation of small, positive habits can make a real difference. Every step forward, however small, is a step towards healing.

1. Establishing a consistent routine

One of the most significant steps I took was creating a consistent daily routine. Before, my days felt disjointed, and without structure, my motivation wavered. Having set times to wake up, eat, and sleep restores the sense of normalcy that my depression often erodes. Even the smallest tasks, like having my morning coffee at the same time each day, add structure and a sense of calm to my day.

This routine also helps me feel more in tune with myself. When I was low on energy or feeling particularly down, I could adjust the day’s plan without abandoning it altogether. Some days, completing simple tasks became an accomplishment, and I slowly learnt that every effort, however small, counts.

2. Practice mindfulness and meditation

When I first heard about mindfulness, I, like many, was sceptical. The idea of sitting in silence felt overwhelming, and I wasn’t sure if it would work. However, once I started with just five minutes a day, I began to notice its impact. It became easier to focus on the present moment rather than spiralling into negative thoughts or anxieties about the future.

Mindfulness doesn’t "fix" my depression, but it provides me with a tool to observe my emotions without judgement. Meditation and deep breathing exercises allow me to create small pockets of calm in my day, where I can reset and breathe through challenging moments. This practice is a gentle reminder to be kind to myself, a skill I’m still learning.

3. Engaging in Physical Activity

Physical activity is always challenging at first. Depression often drains my energy, and the thought of exercise can feel daunting. I start small—just a walk around the block on days when I feel capable. Eventually, those short walks become longer, and I notice that even a few minutes outside lifts my mood slightly.

Over time, I explore other forms of exercise that feel manageable. Stretching in the morning, trying short online workouts, or even, yes, I'll admit it, dancing around the house to music makes a noticeable difference in my energy levels. Movement is less about reaching a fitness goal and more about feeling good in the moment, which is a refreshing change.

I now schedule 2 days a week at the gym and a day to stretch at yoga. These 3 days a week are spread out evenly to also include rest days.

4. Limiting Alcohol and Avoiding Substances

When things feel overwhelming, I sometimes turn to alcohol for temporary relief. It numbs my feelings, but I soon realise that it can make my depressive episodes worse. Cutting back is difficult at first, but I soon notice that without alcohol, I have more mental clarity and emotional stability.

I won’t pretend that it is easy, but reducing alcohol makes a big difference in how I feel each day. Now, I prioritise choices that support my mental well-being, even if they require a bit more effort. This shift is crucial in helping me feel more balanced and resilient. I also limit my alcohol intake to just the weekends, and this has seen a huge shift in my mental state.

5. Staying connected with Others

One of the most challenging aspects of depression is the urge to isolate. Reaching out to friends or family often feels exhausting, yet isolation only deepens my feelings of loneliness. I make a commitment to stay in touch, even in small ways, including a text, a phone call, or meeting someone for a quick coffee.

Maintaining connections often becomes a lifeline. Social interactions do not have to be lengthy or elaborate to make a difference. Even just hearing a loved one’s voice or sharing a moment of laughter with friends reminds me that I'm not alone. Building this habit took time, but it is one of the most rewarding parts of my journey.

6. Spending Time Outdoors

Spending time outdoors, especially in natural light, is another tool in my depression toolkit. I start with short trips to nearby parks, just sitting or walking and absorbing the atmosphere. It may seem trivial, but the fresh air and sunlight helped lift my spirits, if only a little.

There is a peacefulness that nature offers, something that calms the mind and provides a gentle break from intrusive thoughts. On my worst days, even just opening a window or sitting on my back verandah brings a small sense of relief. Nature becomes a quiet refuge, reminding me of life’s beauty and resilience.

7. Journaling to Process My Thoughts

Journaling has been one of the most transformative habits for me. Initially, it felt strange writing down my thoughts, but over time, I have realised that putting words to my emotions provides clarity. Some days, my entries are nothing more than fragmented sentences, while on others, I find myself pouring out pages of reflections of what I'm feeling.

Journaling helps me process what I'm going through and allows me to identify recurring patterns. Seeing my thoughts on paper offers perspective, and even small triumphs, like completing a task or experiencing a moment of joy, become reminders of my progress. Journaling has now become an essential part of my self-care, offering a safe space to express myself.

8. Setting small, achievable goals

Depression can often make even the simplest tasks feel monumental. I have learnt to set small, achievable goals each day so that these things won't overwhelm me but will still give me a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes, it may be as simple as making my bed, washing the dishes, or taking a shower.

These little wins accumulate over time, building my confidence and reinforcing the notion that I am capable. Each goal, however small, becomes a stepping stone on my path to feeling better. It has taught me to acknowledge my efforts, celebrate progress, and accept that every step forward is valuable. Celebrate the small wins.

9. Challenging Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a familiar companion to those of us with depression. The critical inner voice can be relentless, amplifying doubts and insecurities. I start recognising these patterns and gently challenging them. When I catch myself thinking something negative, I ask, “Is this thought helpful?” Often, the answer is no.

Reframing my thoughts didn’t come naturally at first, but over time, I began to replace self-criticism with kinder, more compassionate self-talk. This practice has taught me to be gentler with myself and to acknowledge my strengths, even on the hardest days.

10. Prioritising Rest and Sleep Hygiene

Sleep disturbances are common with depression, and for me, I know that I have to have 6–8 hours of restful sleep a night to manage my depression. I often follow a nighttime routine, including limiting screen time, avoiding caffeine, perhaps even having a herbal tea, and making sure my room is as dark as possible. These small habits help me fall asleep more easily and improve the quality of my rest. Sleep hygiene is now a central part of my self-care, helping me face each day with a clearer mind.

These articles tackle vital topics related to mental well-being, many of them drawn directly from my own experiences and insights gained through my work in Bent Couch Counselling.

Movember’s mission is to support men’s mental health, address prostate and testicular cancer, and prevent suicide, which is a cause close to my heart. My personal connection to Gay Fathers Worldwide has encouraged me to raise $10,000 as part of Movember. I encourage you to donate here to an incredible cause.

By sharing personal perspectives and strategies over these 30 days, I hope to foster deeper understanding and connection around mental health issues. This project is about more than just reading or writing; it's about taking action.

I hope sharing my experience can be a guide, perhaps even a comfort, for others on a similar path.

If you feel like you are suffering from depression and can relate to this article, reach out and book a Complimentary Consultation today with Shaun. He provides a safe space of empathy and understanding during his counselling sessions and will happily call you back at a time that is convenient for you.