Free to Be Me: Rediscovering the Treasure of Authenticity
Day 14 of 30
As a dedicated mental health advocate and counsellor, I’ve come to value just how powerful open, honest conversations about mental health can be. This November, I’m embarking on a 30-day writing journey, sharing a new mental health article each day, not only to raise awareness but to raise funds for Movember.
Imagine your true self as a precious treasure, hidden beneath layers of dust and dirt accumulated over years. The treasure is vibrant, shining with the essence of who you are at your core—your unique blend of quirks, dreams, passions, and values. However, as we go through life, the pressure of others' expectations, our own fears of criticism, and the routines we've developed to fit in frequently obscure this treasure.
In a recent podcast with Andrew Jobling, we explored this journey of rediscovering our true selves and embracing the freedom to simply be. Carl Rogers, a renowned psychologist, perfectly captures this process: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Embracing this truth is like lifting away years of dust and finally seeing the treasure of authenticity shine again.
The Power and Promise of Living Authentically
Imagine finding that buried treasure after years of believing it was lost. There’s a thrill in rediscovering its brightness and understanding that it has been yours all along. Living authentically means honouring that treasure—the unique parts of yourself that have perhaps been hidden away.
Authenticity brings freedom—the freedom to live according to our values, to choose relationships that nurture us, and to spend our days in a way that feels meaningful. When we live with authenticity, we stop holding ourselves to the standards or expectations others place upon us, and the weight of “fitting in” lifts. It’s as if we’re unearthing our truest selves and letting them shine in every aspect of life.
Dusting Off the Layers: Steps to Becoming "Free to Be Me"
The journey back to authenticity doesn’t happen overnight. Just as one would carefully brush away layers of earth to uncover a precious artefact, we too must gently peel back the layers that have obscured our sense of self. Here’s how we might start rediscovering that treasure:
Identify What Matters Most: Reflect on your core values, those principles that are most meaningful to you. These are like the gemstones of your treasure chest, guiding your decisions and helping you live in alignment with yourself. When you know what you value most, you can start making choices that reflect who you are, not who you feel you "should" be.
Acknowledge and embrace every part of yourself: Every piece of that hidden treasure is valuable—even those parts of yourself that you may have felt you needed to hide. Embracing your dreams, acknowledging your fears, and recognising your identity are all acts of self-love. Imagine yourself wiping away the dust on a long-buried gemstone, finally allowing it to glint in the light. This is the power of self-acceptance.
Seek Out Your Supportive Circle: Finding people who value authenticity and who can share in this journey makes a world of difference. Surround yourself with those who support you, who encourage your growth, and who love you for the real you. A strong support system is like a trusted crew on your treasure hunt—these people keep you on course, remind you of your worth, and make the journey feel less lonely.
Embrace imperfections: Real treasure doesn’t need to be perfect to be valuable. Being “Free to Be Me” means recognising that your imperfections are part of your unique beauty. In fact, it’s often through embracing our flaws that we discover a deeper self-acceptance, releasing the pressure to appear “perfect” in others’ eyes. Authenticity, after all, is about truth—not perfection.
Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs: Along your journey, you might come across old beliefs, like rocks that have settled around your treasure, limiting its shine. These beliefs, formed from past experiences or societal expectations, may hold you back. Questioning them, even letting them go, helps you create more space for the real you to thrive.
Facing the Dragons: The Fear of Judgement
Every treasure hunt has its obstacles, and for many of us, one of the greatest challenges to authenticity is the fear of judgement. We might worry about how others perceive us, wondering if people will accept or understand who we really are. This fear can sometimes keep us from dusting off that treasure, leading us to hide our true selves away.
But here’s the thing—just as you are the only one who truly knows the value of your treasure, you are the only one who can decide how much space your true self should occupy. The more compassion and kindness we extend to ourselves, the easier it becomes to release this fear. As Carl Rogers reminds us, true change comes from accepting ourselves, not from moulding ourselves to fit in.
The Ripple Effect of living Authentically
Unearthing and valuing our hidden treasure—our true self—does more than bring us personal joy. It can inspire others to do the same. When we live authentically, we give others permission to shed their own masks and dig deep to rediscover their unique treasures.
At Bent Couch Counselling, I often see this in action. When individuals embrace their authenticity, they cultivate a sense of inner peace and resilience. They stop performing for the world and start building relationships and communities that nurture their well-being. Living as your true self isn’t only transformative for you; it’s a powerful message that radiates outward, encouraging others to do the same.
Answering the Call to Be "Free to Be Me"
If you’ve ever felt a longing to live more authentically, to stop hiding parts of yourself, or to live by your own values, know that this journey is yours to take. You don’t need to unearth the whole treasure at once. Start by dusting off a small part of yourself—a boundary, a hidden passion, or an expression of kindness towards yourself. Each step you take brings you closer to living a life that’s true to who you are.
The journey to authenticity is worth every step. By allowing ourselves to be “Free to Be Me,” we’re offering the world a unique and irreplaceable treasure. And perhaps, in showing up authentically, we inspire others to do the same, creating a world where people feel safe to reveal their own inner treasures.
If you’d like to dive deeper into this path of authenticity, I invite you to listen to my full conversation with Andrew Jobling. Let it serve as a reminder that embracing ourselves isn’t only an act of self-love; it’s a way of creating a more connected and compassionate world—one person, one treasure, at a time.
These articles tackle vital topics related to mental well-being, many of them drawn directly from my own experiences and insights gained through my work in Bent Couch Counselling.
Movember’s mission is to support men’s mental health, address prostate and testicular cancer, and prevent suicide, which is a cause close to my heart. My personal connection to Gay Fathers Worldwide has encouraged me to raise $10,000 as part of Movember. I encourage you to donate here to an incredible cause.
By sharing personal perspectives and strategies over these 30 days, I hope to foster deeper understanding and connection around mental health issues. This project is about more than just reading or writing; it's about taking action.
I hope sharing my experience can be a guide, perhaps even a comfort, for others on a similar path.
